chronicallylate: thefartsinourstars: thefartsinourstars: thefartsinourstars: thefartsinourstars: walk into the club like what up i got a gros horloge The Gros Horloge is a historical monument located in the city of Rouen in France. “gros horloge” literally translates to mean “big clock” “walk into the club like what up i got a BIG CLOCk” i’M FUCKING HILARIOUS WHY IS NO ONE...
banasmagiccastle: edtrip: naoren: Okay but You gotta admit this one looks pretty cool NEW FAVORITE POKEMON FUSION EVER fuckin legendary-ass piece of shit look at this
moltres: overhearing a conversation between strangers in which they’re saying something completely wrong and you really feel like correcting them
unwrittenlaw5: do you ever just finish a book or tv show and then
the shoreline restoration project has all the volunteers they need which means I can sleep in the morning but it also means I will fail homebase this semester holla holla responsibility
sexhaver: “don’t play the race card,” you start to say. but it is already too late. my Race Card is face-up in attack position. you scream as your body is sucked into the Shadow Realm
no you are not allowed to reblog that from me frikkin’ spinners do you not see
My visit to the doctor:
Nurse: "Sorry your boyfriend couldn't wait for you in the waiting room, it makes women feel uncomfortable."
Me: "He wasn't my boyfriend and I don't see how it would make them uncomfortable, but that's my opinion. He was here for moral support. I understood, and so does he."
Nurse: "So he's your...."
Nurse: (During the question asking) "How many sexual partners have you had?"
Nurse: "How old were you when you first became sexually active?"
Me: "....Loaded question but....14, I guess."
Nurse: "You're sexually active, then."
Me: "Well....I guess...but..."
Nurse: "How many times have you been pregnant?"
Me: "Uh. 0."
Nurse: "O...kayy...-Checks 'condoms' as my preferred use of birth control-"
Me: "I don't use condoms. Or take birth control."
Nurse: "Then how do you avoid getting pregnant?"
Me: "With homosexuality."
Me: "I fuck girls."
sorryforpartybarackin: the best kind of people are the really cute ones that you wanna cuddle and drink hot chocolate and go for walks in the park and watch dumb movies and build blanket forts with but also slam up against a wall and fuck their brains out
g0ne-blotto: since gay people call themselves flaming homosexuals can pansexual people call themselves frying pansexuals because not only is it like flaming homosexuals but we also have the benefit of a play on words
mooliesauce: ellieiero: you know in like 20 or 30 years or so theres gonna be a section in history books dedicated to this time period where gays were fighting for their right to marry and suffering from discrimination and the kids learning about it in class are going to be disgusted by the mere fact that gays had to even try to fight for what was rightfully theirs I think about this a lot
youvegottthelove: ohshiitakemushrooms: Can Robert Downey Jr. and Johnny Depp star in a live action The Road to El Dorado together? my organs have stopped functioning please let this happen
breadboxes: LISTEN HERE U LITTLE SHIT i love u
mercurykiss: scienceyounerd: ok ok but just imagine it’s april fools john is pranking his dad he hides every hat in the house and replaces them with novelty hats and dad wakes up in the morning and goes to get ready and he just like refuses to be fazed so he puts on one of the joke hats like “have a good day at school son i’m off to work” i’m bringing this back up because why isn’t...
michelles-demon: my favorite avas demon character is doritos
doglets: what? this isn’t a nude beach this is a nerd beach who’s ready to catch some .wavs
striderfeels: jfc i’ve been laughing for 50 years okay so this is my new favourite thing i’m on omegle and people are like *MOTHERFUCKIN SWOON MARSHALL LEE* and then i’m all SURPRISE KARKAT nO ONE EVER EXPECTS THE VANTAS INQUISITION
spockward: coolscar: egberts: imagine a pizza topped with several smaller pizzas